I completely forgot about the blog at the end of my pregnancy...you can tell this because Julian is almost 7 1/2 weeks old now!
I created a private blog about him, so I don't know what I'm going to do with this blog yet. I'll try to update it from time to time, but I want to control who can see pictures of Julian online, ergo the private blog. If you'd like to be invited to read it, email me at savvyclaire21 [at] gmail [dot] com and tell me why!
Showing posts with label Pregnancy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pregnancy. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
The Happy Post
There are a LOT of things I've been happy about lately! I'm feeling the need to document them (more :)
1. THE WEATHER!! I can't tell you how much I'm adoring the weather! It's probably one of the biggest factors in my huge mood improvement, which is kind of surprising to me. It's been cloudy and windy the last few days and I STILL love it! I seriously need to live in a place with weather like this year round!
2. I can still sleep at night. I have many, many pregnant friends who are already having sleep problems. Most of them are due around the same time as me and they just can't get comfortable or the kid is moving in such a way that it prevents them from sleeping. This is not happening to me, for which I'm eternally grateful. His movements still aren't painful or uncomfortable either (unless he's playing with my belly button from the inside, which is another story). I'm still getting all the benefits of him moving around with few of the downsides!
3. I got TWO new pairs of maternity jeans from the huge tub of clothes given to me from the woman at church. Most of it doesn't fit and even more of it is dressy work type maternity clothes, which I really don't need, so I'm going to pass them on to someone who will benefit more from them. ALL of the maternity jeans I have were given to me, for which I'm also eternally grateful, since that has saved us SO much money! Most of them don't fit quite right, but get the job done and they were free, so no complaining here.
4. I had to take my wedding rings off a few weeks ago, but my Mom found one of my grandma's old rings that is big enough probably to get me through the end, so I don't have to go buy some cheapie ring either! I don't know how many people really understand how much I hated the idea of taking off my wedding rings but I didn't want to have them cut off later if I have too much swelling, so I did it anyway. I really don't want to look like I'm 17 and pregnant, so at least having a ring on shows I'm at least married.
5. This one is possibly the biggest and most exciting :)
Friday, we drove up to Alma and spent the night with my parents after Adam got off work. At the buttcrack of dawn Saturday morning, we got up and drove to Oklahoma City to SEE DAVE RAMSEY LIVE! WOOOOOHOOOOOO!! OKC and Nashville were the two closest events and the Nashville event was already sold out when I heard about them, but OKC wasn't. To make things even better, Adam found a coupon and we saved $25 on tickets! I love love love his books and the radio show and the live event was like combining all of them! It lasted 5 hours and he went over just about everything under the sun! SO motivating! We've started this business twice and then quit for no good reason, but now we're back on, this time for good. It's going to suck and be amazing all at the same time!
I am definitely enjoying the overall good mood. Pregnancy hormones see to it that it doesn't last every single second (I average crying over something once a day or so!) but I feel like I'm so much better off than I've been the last four or five months. I hope the trend continues the closer we get to May!
1. THE WEATHER!! I can't tell you how much I'm adoring the weather! It's probably one of the biggest factors in my huge mood improvement, which is kind of surprising to me. It's been cloudy and windy the last few days and I STILL love it! I seriously need to live in a place with weather like this year round!
2. I can still sleep at night. I have many, many pregnant friends who are already having sleep problems. Most of them are due around the same time as me and they just can't get comfortable or the kid is moving in such a way that it prevents them from sleeping. This is not happening to me, for which I'm eternally grateful. His movements still aren't painful or uncomfortable either (unless he's playing with my belly button from the inside, which is another story). I'm still getting all the benefits of him moving around with few of the downsides!
3. I got TWO new pairs of maternity jeans from the huge tub of clothes given to me from the woman at church. Most of it doesn't fit and even more of it is dressy work type maternity clothes, which I really don't need, so I'm going to pass them on to someone who will benefit more from them. ALL of the maternity jeans I have were given to me, for which I'm also eternally grateful, since that has saved us SO much money! Most of them don't fit quite right, but get the job done and they were free, so no complaining here.
4. I had to take my wedding rings off a few weeks ago, but my Mom found one of my grandma's old rings that is big enough probably to get me through the end, so I don't have to go buy some cheapie ring either! I don't know how many people really understand how much I hated the idea of taking off my wedding rings but I didn't want to have them cut off later if I have too much swelling, so I did it anyway. I really don't want to look like I'm 17 and pregnant, so at least having a ring on shows I'm at least married.
5. This one is possibly the biggest and most exciting :)
Friday, we drove up to Alma and spent the night with my parents after Adam got off work. At the buttcrack of dawn Saturday morning, we got up and drove to Oklahoma City to SEE DAVE RAMSEY LIVE! WOOOOOHOOOOOO!! OKC and Nashville were the two closest events and the Nashville event was already sold out when I heard about them, but OKC wasn't. To make things even better, Adam found a coupon and we saved $25 on tickets! I love love love his books and the radio show and the live event was like combining all of them! It lasted 5 hours and he went over just about everything under the sun! SO motivating! We've started this business twice and then quit for no good reason, but now we're back on, this time for good. It's going to suck and be amazing all at the same time!
I am definitely enjoying the overall good mood. Pregnancy hormones see to it that it doesn't last every single second (I average crying over something once a day or so!) but I feel like I'm so much better off than I've been the last four or five months. I hope the trend continues the closer we get to May!
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Things I've Discovered About Pregnancy
The last time I posted, I thought pregnancy would NEVER get any better...but surprise! It has! It is by no means my favorite cup of tea; I'm never going to be one of those women who could be pregnant all the time. I still have plenty of crappy symptoms, but I've happily traded in the nausea and vomiting for a killer backache (in ONE spot where my hip and spine meet) and MIND NUMBING FATIGUE. I'll take the backache and the fatigue over the nausea and vomiting ANY day! :)
A few other nifty discoveries:
*Standing up straight means I can no longer see my feet!
*I outgrew Adam's jeans. I knew I'd outgrow mine and I swear that I don't think of Adam as the size of a pregnant woman (I love you honey!) but it never occurred to me that I'd outgrow HIS jeans! Wow!
*Those stretchy bands on maternity jeans are SO worth it! Those and yoga pants!!
* I'm not complaining about my waistline though, since it's now rounded out and I FINALLY look pregnant, instead of like I'm having an affair with Ben and Jerry's!
*I can technically snap my own shoes, but it's much more convenient for Adam to snap my shoes for me. It's kindergarten all over again!
* You should never tell a pregnant woman who could technically be feeling her kid moving around that when she does eventually feel said kid that she'll wish she didn't. That was seriously the most annoying thing people told me! I'm FINALLY feeling him move around and despite when he plays with my belly button (Trippy, people! TRIPPY!) I LOVE LOVE LOVE feeling him moving around. It's kind of familiar in an other-worldly kind of way (it'll never make sense if I attempt explaining it) and it's so entertaining! Too bad you can't feel them from the very beginning.
*I took my wedding rings off Sunday morning and you can still see the indention where they were. Adam also suspects that my feet are swelling. My obsession with salty food must now end. :(
*Cooking or baking feels like running a marathon now. We all know I suck at doing anything productive in the kitchen, but now it's exhausting too!
I could probably go on more, but I think I'll leave it at this for now. Maybe I should start updating more frequently, since that seems more of a possibility than it has. Part of me feels bad that I haven't documented more of my pregnancy, but at the same time, I promised myself I wouldn't use the blog for whining, so I just decided not to say anything at all. I can say that I love this kid and I can't wait for him to get here (well, when I'm not busy being terrified of having a newborn, hahahaha!)
Hurry up May!! :-D
A few other nifty discoveries:
*Standing up straight means I can no longer see my feet!
*I outgrew Adam's jeans. I knew I'd outgrow mine and I swear that I don't think of Adam as the size of a pregnant woman (I love you honey!) but it never occurred to me that I'd outgrow HIS jeans! Wow!
*Those stretchy bands on maternity jeans are SO worth it! Those and yoga pants!!
* I'm not complaining about my waistline though, since it's now rounded out and I FINALLY look pregnant, instead of like I'm having an affair with Ben and Jerry's!
*I can technically snap my own shoes, but it's much more convenient for Adam to snap my shoes for me. It's kindergarten all over again!
* You should never tell a pregnant woman who could technically be feeling her kid moving around that when she does eventually feel said kid that she'll wish she didn't. That was seriously the most annoying thing people told me! I'm FINALLY feeling him move around and despite when he plays with my belly button (Trippy, people! TRIPPY!) I LOVE LOVE LOVE feeling him moving around. It's kind of familiar in an other-worldly kind of way (it'll never make sense if I attempt explaining it) and it's so entertaining! Too bad you can't feel them from the very beginning.
*I took my wedding rings off Sunday morning and you can still see the indention where they were. Adam also suspects that my feet are swelling. My obsession with salty food must now end. :(
*Cooking or baking feels like running a marathon now. We all know I suck at doing anything productive in the kitchen, but now it's exhausting too!
I could probably go on more, but I think I'll leave it at this for now. Maybe I should start updating more frequently, since that seems more of a possibility than it has. Part of me feels bad that I haven't documented more of my pregnancy, but at the same time, I promised myself I wouldn't use the blog for whining, so I just decided not to say anything at all. I can say that I love this kid and I can't wait for him to get here (well, when I'm not busy being terrified of having a newborn, hahahaha!)
Hurry up May!! :-D
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Sunshine and Roses
I feel really bad about never updating this blog. I have a list of blogs that I follow regularly, and it drives me up a freaking wall when people don't update. One person hasn't updated her blog in 18 months! Why even have a blog?! Now, I'm one of those people who never updates!
It's been really hard coming to terms with the fact that pregnancy isn't all sunshine and roses for everyone. I assumed that since I wanted it so badly, and waited so long, that I would automatically love it. I've watched people get pregnant and have no idea what loss feels like; I've watched them take it all for granted and complain until the world looked level. I swore every which way that I would never, EVER be one of those people. An Infertile just knows not to take it for granted, and I generally consider myself to be of the Infertile frame of mind, even though I've never participated in the (huge) blogosphere there is for infertility. I knew that when it was finally my turn (this is yet something else that I still feel guilty about, but that's an entirely separate post), I would enjoy every second and it would be perfect and I would be different.
It's not. I feel like I'm just like the average pregnant woman, taking everything for granted (nothing like compounding the guilt, eh?) because I just want to scream that pregnancy sucks! My nausea not only didn't go away in the 2nd trimester (which has sometimes been referred to as the 'honeymoon' trimester--I'm assuming by some academic somewhere who's never experienced this before), but it's gotten worse!! I am nauseous all the freaking time!! I've vomited more in the last 5 weeks than I did in the entire first 13! It's supposed to be going the other direction! :( Food aversions are a touchy subject. The kitchen is the ground zero of WWIII every single day, when--no matter how full of food it may be--there is nothing that sounds good and I don't know what to eat. My stomach has felt like I've been doing crunches and sit-ups indefinitely for four weeks now and I can't even feel chicken nugget moving around in there to boot!
There is more, but I'll spare you. Suffice it to say that I am not turning out to be one of those women who just loves every second of pregnancy, and this has been a huge shock to my super naive system. I now know that while they still may take everything for granted, all those women who complained before have been way more justified than I ever imagined and I really need to cut them some slack. I am grateful, I really am. I've just been having such a hard time wrapping my brain around the fact that this is for real that I don't know how to feel it or express it and it's been easier not to write anything than to be even more whiny than I already am.
I've heard that your pregnancy will be similar to your mother's, and my mom told me she didn't feel any relief until her 5th month, so if mine is similar in that regard, relief should be on the horizon. They said the 2nd trimester would be better, so I held out. Now I'm holding out for the next few weeks to see if I'm like my mom or if it seems that this will be how it is until May. I just don't know how anything is going to go and I don't like the limbo. If I can think of anything intelligent to say and save enough energy to actually post it, I might start posting more again, but that's just another wait and see situation.
It's been really hard coming to terms with the fact that pregnancy isn't all sunshine and roses for everyone. I assumed that since I wanted it so badly, and waited so long, that I would automatically love it. I've watched people get pregnant and have no idea what loss feels like; I've watched them take it all for granted and complain until the world looked level. I swore every which way that I would never, EVER be one of those people. An Infertile just knows not to take it for granted, and I generally consider myself to be of the Infertile frame of mind, even though I've never participated in the (huge) blogosphere there is for infertility. I knew that when it was finally my turn (this is yet something else that I still feel guilty about, but that's an entirely separate post), I would enjoy every second and it would be perfect and I would be different.
It's not. I feel like I'm just like the average pregnant woman, taking everything for granted (nothing like compounding the guilt, eh?) because I just want to scream that pregnancy sucks! My nausea not only didn't go away in the 2nd trimester (which has sometimes been referred to as the 'honeymoon' trimester--I'm assuming by some academic somewhere who's never experienced this before), but it's gotten worse!! I am nauseous all the freaking time!! I've vomited more in the last 5 weeks than I did in the entire first 13! It's supposed to be going the other direction! :( Food aversions are a touchy subject. The kitchen is the ground zero of WWIII every single day, when--no matter how full of food it may be--there is nothing that sounds good and I don't know what to eat. My stomach has felt like I've been doing crunches and sit-ups indefinitely for four weeks now and I can't even feel chicken nugget moving around in there to boot!
There is more, but I'll spare you. Suffice it to say that I am not turning out to be one of those women who just loves every second of pregnancy, and this has been a huge shock to my super naive system. I now know that while they still may take everything for granted, all those women who complained before have been way more justified than I ever imagined and I really need to cut them some slack. I am grateful, I really am. I've just been having such a hard time wrapping my brain around the fact that this is for real that I don't know how to feel it or express it and it's been easier not to write anything than to be even more whiny than I already am.
I've heard that your pregnancy will be similar to your mother's, and my mom told me she didn't feel any relief until her 5th month, so if mine is similar in that regard, relief should be on the horizon. They said the 2nd trimester would be better, so I held out. Now I'm holding out for the next few weeks to see if I'm like my mom or if it seems that this will be how it is until May. I just don't know how anything is going to go and I don't like the limbo. If I can think of anything intelligent to say and save enough energy to actually post it, I might start posting more again, but that's just another wait and see situation.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Coming in 2011--The Grand Reveal
Wow, I didn't realize that I didn't make a single post in October! Poor October--usually it's one of my favorite months, but I'm guessing surely most of you have figured out the reason for the blogging hiatus.
If you didn't, here's a clue:
If that doesn't help, maybe this will:)
To say we were caught off guard is in the running for the understatement of the year. It's kind of hard to get pregnant if you don't ovulate, and ovulation has never been a specialty of mine. Not to mention that I haven't taken thyroid medication since April (until August! I am taking it now!) I was on all my medication perfectly the last time this happened and tater tot never even had a heartbeat, so to say I was pessimistic about this going anywhere is also in the running for the year's understatement.
Right now, everything is swirling. I can think of about a bajillion women I think deserve this more than me and I'm struggling with the obnoxious fact that life is indeed not fair. It's not fair that they have to wait for their baby when I thought I was going to have to wait much longer than I actually did. Why can't it happen for them the same way it happened for me? My hormones are all over the map and Adam has been a champ about it all. He takes such wonderful care of me that I can't complain for a second! He should be in the running for the husband of the year! :)
So, now that the secret is out, hopefully the end of the year will see some more regular blogging again! I kind of miss it!
If you didn't, here's a clue:
If that doesn't help, maybe this will:)
To say we were caught off guard is in the running for the understatement of the year. It's kind of hard to get pregnant if you don't ovulate, and ovulation has never been a specialty of mine. Not to mention that I haven't taken thyroid medication since April (until August! I am taking it now!) I was on all my medication perfectly the last time this happened and tater tot never even had a heartbeat, so to say I was pessimistic about this going anywhere is also in the running for the year's understatement.Right now, everything is swirling. I can think of about a bajillion women I think deserve this more than me and I'm struggling with the obnoxious fact that life is indeed not fair. It's not fair that they have to wait for their baby when I thought I was going to have to wait much longer than I actually did. Why can't it happen for them the same way it happened for me? My hormones are all over the map and Adam has been a champ about it all. He takes such wonderful care of me that I can't complain for a second! He should be in the running for the husband of the year! :)
So, now that the secret is out, hopefully the end of the year will see some more regular blogging again! I kind of miss it!
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
el catorce de julio
For nine months, I wondered what this day would feel like and now it's here. Waaaaay back in November it was a fuzzy dream that didn't seem real & here it is. At first I imagined I'd be fairly happy, and then for the next eight months I imagined it'd be a little bit harder.
Today, we went to the temple. I forgot to tell you all that I'm not in the United States! :) I haven't really told anyone what I've been up to lately while in la Ciudad, but believe me, you've got hundreds of pictures coming your way next week. It's going to take weeks! :)
It's been a busy day, like the all have. I had a rough morning in the school with my other classmate and then we ate and headed off to the temple in excruciating humidity. EXCRUCIATING.
And making this post is the first time I've thought about July 14th, my self-appointed due date. Just think--I sure wouldn't be in Panama right now and I wouldn't trade Panama for the world!
<3
Today, we went to the temple. I forgot to tell you all that I'm not in the United States! :) I haven't really told anyone what I've been up to lately while in la Ciudad, but believe me, you've got hundreds of pictures coming your way next week. It's going to take weeks! :)
It's been a busy day, like the all have. I had a rough morning in the school with my other classmate and then we ate and headed off to the temple in excruciating humidity. EXCRUCIATING.
And making this post is the first time I've thought about July 14th, my self-appointed due date. Just think--I sure wouldn't be in Panama right now and I wouldn't trade Panama for the world!
<3
Friday, January 2, 2009
The Year in Review
I think I'm in denial about always being late and it's a sort of conundrum, since I'm late about EVERYTHING except getting to work on time. Go figure. I hope it's not a foreshadowing of this year, (or any other future year) but I didn't really put it on my list o' plans for the year (if I call it a resolution, it'll never get done, but if I call it a list o' plans, then I'll be more motivated to check them all off :)
Here is a summary of each month in a few fragments; sentences really are too much of a challenge because I do, for a fact, talk too much:
January: lots of doctors visits and two major diseases for me (including the inability to get pregnant prediction), two new jobs for Adam (3 total), beginning of the debt pay-off
February: lots and lots of work for Adam; new pills and a new job for me; more debt pay-off
March: lots and lots more work for Adam; I quit school, kept working, started reading; even more debt pay-off
April: lots and LOTS more work for Adam, exhaustion included; another job for me (if you're counting that's 5 now); even MORE debt pay-off (noticing a trend?)
May: Wow, big month! Adam quits jobs 2 and 3, Grandma breaks her hip, I quit job 1, not so much debt pay-off; a trip to Texas and a blown engine round out the month!
June: tried to help Grandma feel better (key word is tried), tried to help Mom help with Katy's wedding (same key word); a friend from h.s. had a baby and first anniversary, our 18mo anniversary!
July: Spent the 4th in Alma this year, the 19th in TX because Katy got married (Hooray!) drove around Little Rock burning $4/gallon gas just for fun (that's how much we love each other :)
August: Adam turned 30! Hooray!! Started making plans to move out; did more driving around for fun; my bank job ended
September: Moved into a huge apartment, started a very important period, rode motos with motorcycle buddies (the R6 is NOT comfortable at all!!) no job luck anywhere
October: Got a job at Subway! Hooray for employment!
November: Wow, another exciting month! Found out I was pregnant! Whoa! I turned 22, Adam got a big job interview, we got a bird, I miscarried, the whole family got together for Thanksgiving
December: Still at Subway :) Adam never found out about the big job. We got a new car!!!!! Went to Alma for Christmas and STILL got to have a White Hall Christmas. Spent time with in-town family (hooray!!) celebrated TWO years of marriage and a pretty cool ward New Year's Eve Party
Whew! What a year!! Now, onto the new year! In my next post, I'll tell you all about my list o' plans for 2009! :)
Here is a summary of each month in a few fragments; sentences really are too much of a challenge because I do, for a fact, talk too much:
January: lots of doctors visits and two major diseases for me (including the inability to get pregnant prediction), two new jobs for Adam (3 total), beginning of the debt pay-off
February: lots and lots of work for Adam; new pills and a new job for me; more debt pay-off
March: lots and lots more work for Adam; I quit school, kept working, started reading; even more debt pay-off
April: lots and LOTS more work for Adam, exhaustion included; another job for me (if you're counting that's 5 now); even MORE debt pay-off (noticing a trend?)
May: Wow, big month! Adam quits jobs 2 and 3, Grandma breaks her hip, I quit job 1, not so much debt pay-off; a trip to Texas and a blown engine round out the month!
June: tried to help Grandma feel better (key word is tried), tried to help Mom help with Katy's wedding (same key word); a friend from h.s. had a baby and first anniversary, our 18mo anniversary!
July: Spent the 4th in Alma this year, the 19th in TX because Katy got married (Hooray!) drove around Little Rock burning $4/gallon gas just for fun (that's how much we love each other :)
August: Adam turned 30! Hooray!! Started making plans to move out; did more driving around for fun; my bank job ended
September: Moved into a huge apartment, started a very important period, rode motos with motorcycle buddies (the R6 is NOT comfortable at all!!) no job luck anywhere
October: Got a job at Subway! Hooray for employment!
November: Wow, another exciting month! Found out I was pregnant! Whoa! I turned 22, Adam got a big job interview, we got a bird, I miscarried, the whole family got together for Thanksgiving
December: Still at Subway :) Adam never found out about the big job. We got a new car!!!!! Went to Alma for Christmas and STILL got to have a White Hall Christmas. Spent time with in-town family (hooray!!) celebrated TWO years of marriage and a pretty cool ward New Year's Eve Party
Whew! What a year!! Now, onto the new year! In my next post, I'll tell you all about my list o' plans for 2009! :)
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
The Weather, My Thyroid and Our Blog
Because those three are totally related (what's that about Wal-Mart, Adam? :)
The weather this morning was a nightmare; not enough of one, since Subway was still open. I have to admit, I was NOT happy about that. It seems that EVERYTHING was shut down this morning, so I was surprised when I texted my manager and she said to go. So I went. I did some cookies and not even half of the bread as normal and by 11:00 we'd only had ONE customer, so I went home. Who knows what tomorrow will bring?
I was catching up on my Google reader and I got to my thyroid blog section. I usually only read the titles, since they don't put the whole article in there, but today one in particular caught my eye. There has been a storm of talk surrounding Oprah, who is hypothyroid. I think I'm gleeful, reading about this, and I bet most of you think that's scary :-p The woman who writes this excellent, especially in this article, beacuse the quotes in it are highly ridiculous. I can't believe people out there actually BELIEVE this stuff, but they DO!! If you get a chance, read through some of the comments too. Comment numbers 15, 16 and the beginning of 17 are particularly interesting. After reading those comments, I realize how much more I have to learn!! I'm especially keen on this right now, since I've been without my meds for a week. I can feel it and I hate how I feel right now.
Not to mention, I just found out that my former roommate's best friend from high school is 8 months pregnant. I had NO idea and I'm even friends with her on facebook! She and her husband ALSO got married around the time we got engaged. I guess it's the whole 2006 thing, since she hasn't been married for very much longer than I have. I don't know why things like this are so upsetting, since I honestly have no desire to be pregnant again anytime soon, but I'm still happy for her (and the others). I know it won't always be like the three weeks I knew about it, but it was miserable! I don't even know why I have no desire for it; a lot of miscarriage survivors (is there a better way to phrase that?) want to try again RIGHT AWAY. I do NOT want to try at all; maybe since we weren't even "trying" to begin with. Now, TWO of my friends are worried that I don't want it at all or that I think it'll never happen, and I don't want them to worry about me. I do want it, just not any time soon. I keep trying to think of the 'what-ifs' What if I get pregnant again right off the bat? What if THAT'S a miscarriage too? What if it's not? I just can't seem to wrap my head around the concept of going through a pregnancy again, let alone a miscarriage again. Not to mention all the other things I'd like to get done first. I'm still confused and frustrated. I'm glad they care about me, but I don't want people to worry that I think it'll never happen. I'm just even more okay with it not happening for a while now.
Anyway, this one wasn't short either. Bummer. The link is in the post title, and I would *love* it if you have a spare moment to read it. I'm trying to keep in perspective that almost everybody never gives their thyroid a second thought, but it's near and dear to my heart, so help your hypo friend out :)
Oh, I just remembered that this makes post #52, which averages out to one post per week, which I think was my original goal. So, I totally blew it out of the water and STILL made the goal! How cool is that?
The weather this morning was a nightmare; not enough of one, since Subway was still open. I have to admit, I was NOT happy about that. It seems that EVERYTHING was shut down this morning, so I was surprised when I texted my manager and she said to go. So I went. I did some cookies and not even half of the bread as normal and by 11:00 we'd only had ONE customer, so I went home. Who knows what tomorrow will bring?
I was catching up on my Google reader and I got to my thyroid blog section. I usually only read the titles, since they don't put the whole article in there, but today one in particular caught my eye. There has been a storm of talk surrounding Oprah, who is hypothyroid. I think I'm gleeful, reading about this, and I bet most of you think that's scary :-p The woman who writes this excellent, especially in this article, beacuse the quotes in it are highly ridiculous. I can't believe people out there actually BELIEVE this stuff, but they DO!! If you get a chance, read through some of the comments too. Comment numbers 15, 16 and the beginning of 17 are particularly interesting. After reading those comments, I realize how much more I have to learn!! I'm especially keen on this right now, since I've been without my meds for a week. I can feel it and I hate how I feel right now.
Not to mention, I just found out that my former roommate's best friend from high school is 8 months pregnant. I had NO idea and I'm even friends with her on facebook! She and her husband ALSO got married around the time we got engaged. I guess it's the whole 2006 thing, since she hasn't been married for very much longer than I have. I don't know why things like this are so upsetting, since I honestly have no desire to be pregnant again anytime soon, but I'm still happy for her (and the others). I know it won't always be like the three weeks I knew about it, but it was miserable! I don't even know why I have no desire for it; a lot of miscarriage survivors (is there a better way to phrase that?) want to try again RIGHT AWAY. I do NOT want to try at all; maybe since we weren't even "trying" to begin with. Now, TWO of my friends are worried that I don't want it at all or that I think it'll never happen, and I don't want them to worry about me. I do want it, just not any time soon. I keep trying to think of the 'what-ifs' What if I get pregnant again right off the bat? What if THAT'S a miscarriage too? What if it's not? I just can't seem to wrap my head around the concept of going through a pregnancy again, let alone a miscarriage again. Not to mention all the other things I'd like to get done first. I'm still confused and frustrated. I'm glad they care about me, but I don't want people to worry that I think it'll never happen. I'm just even more okay with it not happening for a while now.
Anyway, this one wasn't short either. Bummer. The link is in the post title, and I would *love* it if you have a spare moment to read it. I'm trying to keep in perspective that almost everybody never gives their thyroid a second thought, but it's near and dear to my heart, so help your hypo friend out :)
Oh, I just remembered that this makes post #52, which averages out to one post per week, which I think was my original goal. So, I totally blew it out of the water and STILL made the goal! How cool is that?
Monday, November 24, 2008
Short, but not so Sweet
Short, but not so sweet was what this pregnancy was. I was indeed pregnant, and am not anymore. Yesterday, I woke up with my underwear covered in blood (sorry if it freaks you out that I said underwear, but I can't think of any other way of phrasing it) When I went to the bathroom, there were blood clots (lots of them) And since Saturday night, I've been cramping. Hard. I'm not pregnant anymore.
I keep trying to think of what I did that might have caused it, like lifting too much at Subway or not exercising enough or sitting in the car too long Saturday or anything. Adam keeps telling me I didn't cause it, and I think he's right. Now that I've had all this, and plenty of time to think, I think the doctor was wrong on Thursday. I think that day I really WAS six and 1/2 weeks, and that there was just something wrong. I should have heard the heartbeat. I'm pretty convinced of all of this, but maybe I'm just trying to make myself feel better or something.
I talked to my counselor and his wife for almost an hour and discussed all the positive aspects of having a chemical pregnancy (I prefer that term to miscarriage, since I don't feel that I lost an actual BABY, just what was going to be a baby) like being able to finish my degree now instead of later and getting the Miata we'd been dreaming about (instead of the Taurus we started planning on). It's not the end of the world really. I would much rather find out something is wrong this early, before it has a heartbeat and is baby shaped and moving and all of that than later when it is and much harder to lose. As cliche as it is, there is a reason for everything happening, and I'm not upset. I cried when I thought of both of my sisters-in-law and my mother and mother-in-law and how excited everyone was, but that's just it. I'm more worried about how they'll feel and react than me, since I already know how I feel. The worst part of this whole chemical pregnancy stuff is the cramping and bleeding, not the emotional loss.
I hate to say that it was unplanned, since that has such a negative connotation, but really it was. And it wasn't the best timing either. Sure, we would have made it work, but now we're not rushed and worried. The insurance won't be a problem now, where it might have been before. School definitely won't be a problem now, where it was before. Getting out of debt will even be easier now, since we won't be having to pay for a baby at the same time. Granted, I'm not terribly thrilled at the thought of school, but I did say that I wanted a degree before I started a family, and now I get that chance, so I'm trying not to complain.
I don't mind so much complaining about the doctor's office, right at this moment. They have been a HASSLE!!! You would think that when a pregnant woman calls an obstetrical office saying she's bleeding large blood clots and having severe cramping that it would get noticed and taken care of right away. You would think, but it's not so. I called them seven, yes, SEVEN times today starting at 8:36 this morning and didn't actually talk to anyone useful until 4:53. Four freaking fifty three!!! I don't know whose job the receptionist was doing, because it was sure not her own. I didn't even talk to her at all until 4:15 and she said "You haven't been called back yet?" (My thoughts, but not what I actually said..,) Well, duh! Do you really think I'd STILL be calling wondering what the heck is going on if the nurse had called me? She called back at 4:30, saying the nurse would for SURE call me before the end of the day. At 4:50, still nothing, so I called the receptionist back (who by this time, was awesome, actually) and she went and tracked down the nurse and made her call me right there. The nurse was stupid, and it took every ounce of charity I've ever had in my lifetime not to tell her that. I told her about the bleeding, the huge clots, and the cramping and she said it still might not be bad (honestly? are you freaking kidding me?) and then asked about my last period and other details (with my freaking chart in her hands? she can't read?) and asked me if I was double sure that my period started in September. YES I'm double freaking sure when my period started, it was the day after we moved for crying out loud! Then she said, "Well, that's interesting, because going by dates, you're more like 9 weeks pregnant." Woman, you're a moron. I explained my many diseases and how it's impossible that I'm that far along, when the freaking doctor said I was less than 8 weeks on Thursday. YOU CAN'T GO BY DATES!!! Ack! SO, she said she definitely wanted me to come in tomorrow morning (I'd been freaking calling for 8 hours hoping they could get me in today, but at this point, I didn't care about much any more) so she walked back up to the front with the receptionist and they scheduled me an appointment. I'm probably going to miss my whole shift, but my 36-weeks-pregnant manager also sees this doctor and is anxious to hear what he says about it, so she doesn't care :) (how cool is that? :-D)
I've been working really hard to stop complaining about things between my counselor and my sister-in-law, but I don't know how to change how today happened. I totally could have had more patience, but I'm bleeding out my unborn child and I'm cramping worse than I ever have before, so I figure I'm lucky I didn't start cursing at them. I'll keep trying to have more patience and charity, but now is just not the best of times for me. :( I'm really sorry if this came out too whiny, but it definitely helps me feel better. I can't believe how long it's gotten, but I've been through rather a lot in rather not a lot of time. So, now you know why that weird little ticker is gone from the top and why this post alone will crowd all the others off the front page :-p
Thanks for reading this particular novel. Regular (happier) posting will resume soon!
I keep trying to think of what I did that might have caused it, like lifting too much at Subway or not exercising enough or sitting in the car too long Saturday or anything. Adam keeps telling me I didn't cause it, and I think he's right. Now that I've had all this, and plenty of time to think, I think the doctor was wrong on Thursday. I think that day I really WAS six and 1/2 weeks, and that there was just something wrong. I should have heard the heartbeat. I'm pretty convinced of all of this, but maybe I'm just trying to make myself feel better or something.
I talked to my counselor and his wife for almost an hour and discussed all the positive aspects of having a chemical pregnancy (I prefer that term to miscarriage, since I don't feel that I lost an actual BABY, just what was going to be a baby) like being able to finish my degree now instead of later and getting the Miata we'd been dreaming about (instead of the Taurus we started planning on). It's not the end of the world really. I would much rather find out something is wrong this early, before it has a heartbeat and is baby shaped and moving and all of that than later when it is and much harder to lose. As cliche as it is, there is a reason for everything happening, and I'm not upset. I cried when I thought of both of my sisters-in-law and my mother and mother-in-law and how excited everyone was, but that's just it. I'm more worried about how they'll feel and react than me, since I already know how I feel. The worst part of this whole chemical pregnancy stuff is the cramping and bleeding, not the emotional loss.
I hate to say that it was unplanned, since that has such a negative connotation, but really it was. And it wasn't the best timing either. Sure, we would have made it work, but now we're not rushed and worried. The insurance won't be a problem now, where it might have been before. School definitely won't be a problem now, where it was before. Getting out of debt will even be easier now, since we won't be having to pay for a baby at the same time. Granted, I'm not terribly thrilled at the thought of school, but I did say that I wanted a degree before I started a family, and now I get that chance, so I'm trying not to complain.
I don't mind so much complaining about the doctor's office, right at this moment. They have been a HASSLE!!! You would think that when a pregnant woman calls an obstetrical office saying she's bleeding large blood clots and having severe cramping that it would get noticed and taken care of right away. You would think, but it's not so. I called them seven, yes, SEVEN times today starting at 8:36 this morning and didn't actually talk to anyone useful until 4:53. Four freaking fifty three!!! I don't know whose job the receptionist was doing, because it was sure not her own. I didn't even talk to her at all until 4:15 and she said "You haven't been called back yet?" (My thoughts, but not what I actually said..,) Well, duh! Do you really think I'd STILL be calling wondering what the heck is going on if the nurse had called me? She called back at 4:30, saying the nurse would for SURE call me before the end of the day. At 4:50, still nothing, so I called the receptionist back (who by this time, was awesome, actually) and she went and tracked down the nurse and made her call me right there. The nurse was stupid, and it took every ounce of charity I've ever had in my lifetime not to tell her that. I told her about the bleeding, the huge clots, and the cramping and she said it still might not be bad (honestly? are you freaking kidding me?) and then asked about my last period and other details (with my freaking chart in her hands? she can't read?) and asked me if I was double sure that my period started in September. YES I'm double freaking sure when my period started, it was the day after we moved for crying out loud! Then she said, "Well, that's interesting, because going by dates, you're more like 9 weeks pregnant." Woman, you're a moron. I explained my many diseases and how it's impossible that I'm that far along, when the freaking doctor said I was less than 8 weeks on Thursday. YOU CAN'T GO BY DATES!!! Ack! SO, she said she definitely wanted me to come in tomorrow morning (I'd been freaking calling for 8 hours hoping they could get me in today, but at this point, I didn't care about much any more) so she walked back up to the front with the receptionist and they scheduled me an appointment. I'm probably going to miss my whole shift, but my 36-weeks-pregnant manager also sees this doctor and is anxious to hear what he says about it, so she doesn't care :) (how cool is that? :-D)
I've been working really hard to stop complaining about things between my counselor and my sister-in-law, but I don't know how to change how today happened. I totally could have had more patience, but I'm bleeding out my unborn child and I'm cramping worse than I ever have before, so I figure I'm lucky I didn't start cursing at them. I'll keep trying to have more patience and charity, but now is just not the best of times for me. :( I'm really sorry if this came out too whiny, but it definitely helps me feel better. I can't believe how long it's gotten, but I've been through rather a lot in rather not a lot of time. So, now you know why that weird little ticker is gone from the top and why this post alone will crowd all the others off the front page :-p
Thanks for reading this particular novel. Regular (happier) posting will resume soon!
Thursday, November 20, 2008
One More Thing
So, now the secret is out on the blog, and a few people noticed on Facebook, and I thought it was going to turn into a huge frenzy, but the people that initially noticed have never written back to comment further, and I'm totally okay with this. Maybe I can pretend it didn't leak and still get to make a "big" announcement at Christmas. BUT, it's still out on here, so now we'll just see how many people REALLY read our blog! ;)
I went to my first OB appointment today, and I was pretty miserable. They did all the history, the big exam, an ultrasound and some blood work. The exam wasn't nearly as bad as I was prepared for, but I still cried beforehand anyway :( I'm toooooooo.... squeamish! It's really funny, they said the ultrasound tech was sick today and I probably wouldn't get one, but because of my irregular cycles, I needed it! :) (Never thought I'd say this but,) Hooray for irregular cycles! THEN, I ended up with TWO ultrasounds, because the guy tried to print off a picture for me, and it didn't work, so he had to go back in again :) Which I'm okay with really, because I like seeing the proof that it's FOR REAL and not just what a little stick says. The part that bums me is that the doctor said I'm only at 5wks 3days and I was so sure I was at least six if not seven weeks along. There was no heartbeat, but he said it was still to early to see if anything is wrong or not. Thhaaaaat's what I wanna hear...ugh! BUT, the bonus is that I get ANOTHER ultrasound next month, to make sure there IS a heartbeat, so hooray! He said you normally only get one at the beginning and the big one at 20weeks, but I'm special! :D Also, he said as long as my blood levels stay okay and I have close supervision, my Hashi's doesn't even increase the risk of miscarriage any!!! My thyroid doc already said she wants to see me once a month, so hooray! I get to be normal (a bit!)
So, anyway, this is much longer than I planned it to be. But, I guess all is well for now. I might as well assume everything's okay than try to worry. I already worry enough, so I'm trying to assume it was just too early and the heartbeat will be there next month :)
Here is the picture I got, and I figured you might as well see it, since there's not much to see. It's much clearer in person (but, duh!) but if you zoom in on the mini picture in the corner, you'll see the little sac and a TEENY TINY little white dot inside the black sac. That teeny tiny white dot is the big blob you see in the main picture. Does that make any sense? That's what my unborn child is! :)
I went to my first OB appointment today, and I was pretty miserable. They did all the history, the big exam, an ultrasound and some blood work. The exam wasn't nearly as bad as I was prepared for, but I still cried beforehand anyway :( I'm toooooooo.... squeamish! It's really funny, they said the ultrasound tech was sick today and I probably wouldn't get one, but because of my irregular cycles, I needed it! :) (Never thought I'd say this but,) Hooray for irregular cycles! THEN, I ended up with TWO ultrasounds, because the guy tried to print off a picture for me, and it didn't work, so he had to go back in again :) Which I'm okay with really, because I like seeing the proof that it's FOR REAL and not just what a little stick says. The part that bums me is that the doctor said I'm only at 5wks 3days and I was so sure I was at least six if not seven weeks along. There was no heartbeat, but he said it was still to early to see if anything is wrong or not. Thhaaaaat's what I wanna hear...ugh! BUT, the bonus is that I get ANOTHER ultrasound next month, to make sure there IS a heartbeat, so hooray! He said you normally only get one at the beginning and the big one at 20weeks, but I'm special! :D Also, he said as long as my blood levels stay okay and I have close supervision, my Hashi's doesn't even increase the risk of miscarriage any!!! My thyroid doc already said she wants to see me once a month, so hooray! I get to be normal (a bit!)
So, anyway, this is much longer than I planned it to be. But, I guess all is well for now. I might as well assume everything's okay than try to worry. I already worry enough, so I'm trying to assume it was just too early and the heartbeat will be there next month :)
Here is the picture I got, and I figured you might as well see it, since there's not much to see. It's much clearer in person (but, duh!) but if you zoom in on the mini picture in the corner, you'll see the little sac and a TEENY TINY little white dot inside the black sac. That teeny tiny white dot is the big blob you see in the main picture. Does that make any sense? That's what my unborn child is! :)
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
What She Said
I suppose it's appropriate that I make a post about this whole situation too.
Apparently Jax has caught the pregnancy that has been going around lately. As she mentioned previously, there seems to be a lot of it going around, sort of like the flu last year, only without all of the coughing and aching bodies.
Now what?
Apparently Jax has caught the pregnancy that has been going around lately. As she mentioned previously, there seems to be a lot of it going around, sort of like the flu last year, only without all of the coughing and aching bodies.
Now what?
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Surprise!
I can't keep secrets!!!
I'm not entirely sure why this is, but it's been a lifelong problem. But, like Alan and Jeni's comment on the last post, yes, a new post is needed, so here it is.
I'M PREGNANT!!!!!!
It's apparently a medical "miracle" ... or something...twice this year, two different doctors told me I would not be able to get pregnant without the help of fertility drugs, between the two major diseases I have, so we thought we were set. Obviously, we had been so far and the system seemed to be working pretty well, but God decided my ovaries needed to work this ONE month and, well, there you have it!
I found out a little over two weeks ago and we had planned on telling only immediate family until Christmas, when we would have made it official. But, people slipped, and now the cat's out of the bag, so we might as well announce it here.
Since we found out, and it was confirmed, we're both seeing babies EVERY-FREAKING-WHERE!!!! Everybody under the sun is pregnant, it seems like! Two other women at my church, two or three of Adam's motorcycle buddies, my manager, my sister-in-law's in-laws (like, a lot of them :) and a few people we went to church with in Conway! WOW! That's a lot of babies! Not everyone has found out yet, and at least half of our family found out through Facebook! :( Really, I had better plans for announcing it than that.... :)
As of right now, my due date is mid-July, and I keep hoping it's sooner than that, but I don't go to the OB until Thursday. I've already been to my thyroid doctor twice and will go to see her as often as I see the OB, to make sure that everything stays okay. That's our biggest worry, since thyroid disease increases the risk of miscarriage slightly compared to a completely normal pregnancy. All this means though, is that if anything happens, I'll just have to make another (less exciting) post, but I hope not!
So, now you all know :) Be on the lookout for the infamous belly bump (Adam's family's favorite joke is that I'll be 15 months pregnant with a 30lb baby in the middle of the summer in a van down by the river...darned them for getting at least two of them right; remember, this is ADAM'S child. Adam, who was a month late himself, is probably going to be causing trouble with this one too :-p )
Oh, and we're not finding out the gender, and I don't have the cool intuition thing that Mom Pearce does, so we're just going to call it Tater Tot until July, when we find out what it is for real :)
I'm not entirely sure why this is, but it's been a lifelong problem. But, like Alan and Jeni's comment on the last post, yes, a new post is needed, so here it is.
I'M PREGNANT!!!!!!
It's apparently a medical "miracle" ... or something...twice this year, two different doctors told me I would not be able to get pregnant without the help of fertility drugs, between the two major diseases I have, so we thought we were set. Obviously, we had been so far and the system seemed to be working pretty well, but God decided my ovaries needed to work this ONE month and, well, there you have it!
I found out a little over two weeks ago and we had planned on telling only immediate family until Christmas, when we would have made it official. But, people slipped, and now the cat's out of the bag, so we might as well announce it here.
Since we found out, and it was confirmed, we're both seeing babies EVERY-FREAKING-WHERE!!!! Everybody under the sun is pregnant, it seems like! Two other women at my church, two or three of Adam's motorcycle buddies, my manager, my sister-in-law's in-laws (like, a lot of them :) and a few people we went to church with in Conway! WOW! That's a lot of babies! Not everyone has found out yet, and at least half of our family found out through Facebook! :( Really, I had better plans for announcing it than that.... :)
As of right now, my due date is mid-July, and I keep hoping it's sooner than that, but I don't go to the OB until Thursday. I've already been to my thyroid doctor twice and will go to see her as often as I see the OB, to make sure that everything stays okay. That's our biggest worry, since thyroid disease increases the risk of miscarriage slightly compared to a completely normal pregnancy. All this means though, is that if anything happens, I'll just have to make another (less exciting) post, but I hope not!
So, now you all know :) Be on the lookout for the infamous belly bump (Adam's family's favorite joke is that I'll be 15 months pregnant with a 30lb baby in the middle of the summer in a van down by the river...darned them for getting at least two of them right; remember, this is ADAM'S child. Adam, who was a month late himself, is probably going to be causing trouble with this one too :-p )
Oh, and we're not finding out the gender, and I don't have the cool intuition thing that Mom Pearce does, so we're just going to call it Tater Tot until July, when we find out what it is for real :)
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