I Freaking Wish

Sorry Sylvie--I always feel guilty when whining, because I think of you. Please don't hate me forever.

I'm in a weird mood. Really. I can't explain to you what I was doing earlier. I've had a long week, screwed up medication and a heck of a last minute homework load. Ugh.

1. I freaking wish it would rain. I'm probably going to get killed by every person in the state of Arkansas for this, but I really do. I'll go play out in it.

2. I freaking wish I got some real mail. I also freaking wish I had the money to send real mail off (like last year's Christmas presents to the west coast family...)

3. I freaking wish I had a friend to hang out with. I have friends, but none of them actually see me unless it's something required or something. HS friends and my in-laws are all too far away and I just don't really have anybody else. Makes for a lonely time of it.

4. I freaking wish my phone didn't make weird noises and mysteriously not receive text messages. Annoying. Like almost failed my class annoying.

5. I freaking wish the job situation would resolve itself. Or my health. Or our finances. Or something. I FREAKING WANT SOME CHANGE!!!

6. I freaking wish I could give up the chocolate. I'm formulating some plans involving this, so expect to see more about it. Just don't keel over--it can be done. I am woman. See me get skinny. *

So, while I'm in this weird mood, I think I'm going to go get on my exercise bike until it rains. I'm seriously gonna get skinny.*





*Skinny is not the appropriate word for what I want, but I like saying it. PLEASE don't think I'm going to binge or do any weird diet (seriously, SRSLY look at you're talking to? You think I'D do a diet?) "Skinny" means more along the lines of toned and fit, meaning if I did happen to lose some weight--FANTASTIC! But, what I really want is some endurance and muscle. I know some women are afraid of bulking up, but it's like perfection, I highly doubt I'm going to get there, so why not try anyway? Before I start rambling, I'll just make a whole 'nother post about this later, so you get the full picture, because I'm not done ranting about my body yet.

Dumb Weather

This daggum weather is just plain frustrating. Annoying, too.

So Monday I had to take a vacation day from the Conway job. It was an old one I had lying around, and it had reached "Use it or lose it" status, so I decided to use it Monday. Someone else had already requested last Friday off, and only one of us on the crew can take a vacation day at a time. Anyway, as the weather prognostications kept involving obscene amounts of liquid sunshine for Monday, I figured I had picked a good day to sit around the apartment and maybe do some cleaning. I even briefly considered going on a motorbike ride, just for the fun of it. Not going to work, not going in for a service, not going to the grocery store with it; just going for a fun, relaxing ride out in the country. However, the previously mentioned prognostics swayed me far far away from that idea.

Then it didn't rain. At all. Not a drop in Little Rock. It rained quite strongly in Conway, but not a drop in Little Rock. Jax and I took Grandma to Conway to use one of her Christmas presents, which was a gift card to a Chinese restaurant. Not long after we got inside it started raining pretty hard. It rained pretty hard the entire time we were eating. On a side note, it turns out that even though the restaurant we went to has the same name as the one on the gift card, they are owned by different people and they don't share gift cards with each other. Oopsy!

For fun, I didn't sleep at all Monday night. Seriously, I got to sleep sometime after 6 am on Tuesday morning. I felt like dookie. I went ahead and went to my morning job, which was pretty busy. But I decided that two hours of sleep probably wasn't enough to safely run a machine that could easily rip my arm off without any trouble, let alone ride home on a motorbike that doesn't offer much protection if I were to fall asleep while riding. So I called in and took an extra day off. I know it will kind of stink when I get my paycheck in two weeks, but I don't get paid enough to risk life and limb...

Anyway, the forecast was something obscene like 70% chance of rain Monday and 80% chance of rain Tuesday. It didn't rain either day in Little Rock. Then today, the day I worked both jobs and had to commute from Little Rock to Conway and back, it rained. A lot. Everywhere along my route, anyway. It could have rained Monday and Tuesday and it wouldn't have bothered me one bit. Instead it rained on the day that I decided to go to work.

I guess I learned my lesson. Don't go to work!

Undone...an Epic Fail

As I sit here on my laptop, which still needs to be plugged in, the cottage cheese and the rest of the groceries need to be put away. The bird needs to be put in her big cage. I need to brush my teeth and wash my face. I need to make the bed (it's a mess). I find all of my ASL stuff so I can go to the lab tomorrow bright and early (no work!!!) And I needed to do all this before Adam got home.

Well, Adam got home before I even blogged about all the stuff, let alone did all the stuff. Oh yeah. I'm that kind of cool.

But I had a fabulous time tonight NOT racing home to try and get to sleep as fast as possible! There is life in the late night and I MISS it! I have got to get out of this early morning business. Srsly.

I'll tell you about the rest of it later. I'm going to do all of my undone stuff now.

May 16, 2009

Is there anyone in the world who is not doing something on May 16 this year? On the plus side, we have plenty of options for things to do.

1. Our ward is taking the primary and youth on a temple trip to Memphis that morning.

2. One of Jax's friends from her home ward is getting hitched in the Oklahoma City temple that morning.

3. Jax's younger brother has his high school graduation that night in Alma.

4. My favorite local motorbike store is having their "Super Saturday Sale" that day in Little Rock, which just happens to include a fabulous price on a set of tires, which I will be about due for in mid-May.

5. One of my motorcycle gangs has been invited to a motorbike rally in Missouri.

There's even more, but I can't remember it all since we already know which things we are going to be able to do and which things we are just going to have to skip. Is this what it's like to have a social life, only every day? Geez!

The Good Clean Funnies

The Good Clean Funnies


A lady went to a pet shop.

"I'd like to buy two yellow canaries," she told the owner.

"We don't have any canaries, but we have these," the owner said, as he showed the lady some pale green parakeets.

"That's not what I'm looking for," the lady stated.

But the pet store owner refused to give up. He said, "Just think of them as yellow canaries that aren't quite ripe yet."

I'm Having a Meltdown

Life in the Pearce household has been rough lately. I have a lot of problems I haven't been able to share with anyone, but I desperately need help. I think a lot of it has been due to a change in medication, which I thought would help me feel better, but instead made me feel worse than I ever have in my life. Ever. But, after a bit of research (intertubing :) I think I may know which other medication to add to make them it all work!

But, in the meantime, I've been a basket-case, on the verge of going to a new home with white walls and a straight jacket. Adam keeps telling me that it's okay to blame it on the hormones and that I'm not normally like this (like he phrased it--PMS on steroids), but that feels like such a cop-out to me. Like the hormones are my crutch. What on Earth will I ever do if I fix them? (heh, will I ever fix them is more like it. I thought the main problem was just my thyroid, but now I suspect adrenal fatigue has been another major player)

Neither one of us likes our jobs. I am super depressed. My job ruined Easter for us. My job has destroyed our together time. My job is going to destroy my back if I stay. Adam's job hunt is a joke. I've really lost faith that he'll ever get a new job. God must be punishing us for something and I can't tell you how many different ways my counselor has tried to tell me how that's totally irrational. I know it's irrational and that it's not true. He tells me to be happy that God knows what he is doing with our lives, but I am not. Second class Latter-Day Saint I might be, but I am not happy that God is in control. I guess I don't have much choice in the matter, because he is, whether or not I admit it, but I just wish we had some control. I get so annoyed to hear how other people are getting jobs and moving across the country just fine; but in the same breath, I feel a ton of guilt when I find out someone else has lost their job.

Basically you could say I've not been much fun to be around lately. It's probably why I don't have (m)any friends. I really want to change, and maybe it really is just the hormones at work here. Blah. Blah is exactly how I feel. Sorry you had to read it, but I wanted to throw it out there to explain where I've been. I'll try not to do it too much more, at least until I've changed my meds again, (which isn't for a few more weeks) So now you know why I'm hiding. I'll just let Adam run things a bit. He's better at being an optimist than I am. I'll be back soon.

First Accident With the New Car

So yesterday (Tuesday) on the way home from work I had the first accident with the new car. Yeah, I'm pretty sure Jax wanted this particular honor, but I felt it was my turn to get some recognition. It's worth mentioning that despite the reputation I have, I don't get into accidents or even speed very often. In fact, my last accident was when I was 17 or so (yeah, 13 years ago), way back in high school, and involved a woman going roughly 50 mph on a residential street with no headlights on a dark, rainy morning. My last speeding ticket was in 2004, and the last one before that was in 2001 or so.

Anyway, I didn't get a ticket for this one either, due to the fact that it was the other driver's fault. Then again, she didn't get a ticket either, mostly because she just barely bumped into the back of the car. Seriously, it was so slight I thought for a moment that my foot had slipped off the brake pedal. Then I looked in the rearview mirror and saw her expression. She looked so upset that I couldn't help but feel sorry for her. Anyway, she backed up a couple of feet and I took a peek and assessed the (lack of) damages, and saw absolutely nothing wrong. She didn't even hit me hard enough to knock any of the dirt off the car, let alone dent or even wrinkle the bumper plastic. So I waved and went on home to get ready for other work.

I guess the title made it sound a lot more exciting than it actually was.

April 6th

Three years ago today, it was raining and I was looking for a job. I had started spending some more time with this guy I know. He'd been coming to my dorm to watch movies with me and my roommate (our Sunday Night Movie Night was supposed to have been a big deal, but well you know...it was us) and he'd been inviting me over to his house. In the previous weeks, I'd taken a few friends over, but I was bored on this particular day, and I called him while I was driving around Conway. He told me he was cooking spaghetti and I mentioned something to the effect of 'oh yum, that sounds good' and he invited me over. I told him said roommate and I had already rented our movies for SNMN, but he said he wouldn't be able to come that week, so I told him I'd bring them with me and we could eat and watch a movie (I very specifically avoided the 'D' word though)

So I did. We watched the most bizarre movies (what can I say, I had a weird roommate ;-) and it was kind of awkward (I don't care what you say, roommate, they were FROLICKING in a way that grown men should not...) After both movies went off, we sat on his couch and just talked and talked. At one point he started playing with my feet, which I thought was odd, but I didn't say anything. Before I knew it, it was after 11 and I was kind of wondering what was really going on so blurted out (so sweetly) "So, I guess this is official then?" and he said "I guess so."

We got married a little over eight months later...

(As Paul Harvey would say, "...And now you know the rest of the story!)

Thanks!

I can't say to whom or for what just yet, but I know you're reading! I'll give details later when I have the all clear! :)

Feeling Older

So, yeah, I still get more junk mail from the AARP and The Scooter Store than my grandparents ever did. But that's not really the point of this post. The point is that, whether I will ever admit it in person or not, I really am starting to feel older. I don't seem to bounce back from injuries like I used to anymore. As an example, a couple of months ago I was running to get to something before too many bad things happened. When I got there, I tried to slide to a stop, but my boots caught traction from nowhere (I have slid to a stop at this place many many times before and since) and I felt and possibly heard my left knee go click! Well, I guess I managed to twist my knee in one of those ways that aren't recommended by your doctor, unless he needs to make a car payment next week. The annoying thing is that I can still feel it at times. It isn't nearly as bad as it was for the first few days after it happened, but I am aware of my knee in ways that I would prefer not to be.

I also can't seem to lose weight nearly as easily as I could in the past. Granted, until a few years after my mission that wasn't really a problem anyway... But back in 2004, when I got my first sporting motorbike, I decided that since my new bike weighed over 100 pounds less than my old one, I should lose some of my extra weight as well, and I managed to lose roughly 40 pounds over the course of a few months. But don't worry; when that bike got stolen, I managed to find all of those pounds again, plus a few of their friends. So once again I have decided that I don't really need the influence of these extra pounds on my life. But it seems to be a lot harder to lose them this time around. I swear I have the same motivation and the same desire. But they must be leaving trails of bread crumbs or something because I just can't seem to get rid of them. I suppose I'll just have to try harder.